If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
