i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
