Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
