Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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