I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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