Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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