We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
