Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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