i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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