It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
