a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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