One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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