You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize