Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
