im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
