Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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