yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
