I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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