remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
