come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
