ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize