i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
