so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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