Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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