Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
