Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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