She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
