handjob tips. give me some.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
