The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
