Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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