Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
