If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
