If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
