i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
