Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
be right there i have to get my cape
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
