Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
