ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
