we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
