Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
this is an emotional support booty call
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
