Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
