no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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