I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
