please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
that's an acceptable place to lick
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize