I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
