Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
