That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
