You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
