idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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