T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
