I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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