dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
