just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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