just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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