Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
