Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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