Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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