I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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