I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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