so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
