woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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