The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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