Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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