so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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