No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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