bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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