the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
