considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
