Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
